Guided Africa

I have been intending to write this edition for a few months, but, life…and well, the Pandemonium.

When I decided to write this edition of A Love Letter, I had been receiving a lot of questions about our family, my experience as a mother, and how we approach parenting 4 children in an inter-cultural and inter-racial family. I get these types of questions every few months when I get a bunch of new followers who have just come across my profile and they don’t know that I have already blogged about motherhood and parenting in my messy blog Homiematrimony (it’s in the Blog Archive on this site)

I’m just not interested in blogging about parenting anymore, just like I am no longer interested in sharing online about isintu and amaDlozi. My blog and sharing as isangoma were a part of the tilling and sowing season in my life.  A season of intensive investment, preparation, exploration and learning. I am still learning and growing of course, that never ends. Now, I am in a new and different season as a person, as a mother and as a healer. 

Motherhood and parenting are as consuming as they are transformative. We invest our very souls, intelligence, creativity and time in raising children, and raising ourselves too because we are born anew in motherhood. The type of investment required from us varies from day to day and season to season.

At the beginning of my journey of motherhood, I mourned the loss of the life I had lived, who I had been, and who I would never be. I mourned ambitions and goals I had to defer or let go. I mourned my health, time and freedom. It felt like I was making so many sacrifices and I felt a great sense of loss. I shared this grief with an older friend of mine, a mother and grandmother herself, and she said something like “our children’s souls grow from our own”. Hearing that soothed my mournful heart.

Through my very valid grief, I also began to see the concessions, changes, compromises and growing pains of motherhood as an investment because whatever we put into our experience of motherhood today, forms a part of what we and our children will gain, learn, achieve and experience in the future. Our investments yield returns in the short, medium and long term. The investments we make as mothers will be our children’s inheritance, long after we are gone. 

Raising children and nurturing families, like every other aspect of human life has been co-opted in the capitalist economy. True to the nature of capitalism, of course, fear drives profit. 

The economy of motherhood relies on creating the perception of scarcity and inadequacy then selling back the ‘solution’. Anything from toys, clothes, and apps, to body image, values, foundational beliefs and ideologies. 

I want to share some of my favourite moms on Instagram, in no particular order because I appreciate and enjoy these perspectives and voices in the sea of opportunism, misguided opinions and profit mongering.

I like these accounts because what they share is well-considered, creative, real, informative, holistic and critical. These moms also share fun, delicious, gorgeous, glamorous and spontaneous moments from all aspects of their lives. 

@andbathandwa

@t.h.e.n.e.w.n.o.r.m.a.l

@mamas_with_attitude

@shadesandlayerspodcast

@nonkululeko_mthimkhulu

@feed_my_tribe

@wearemoderntraditions

@syv_midwife

@beijingoperapantry

@linda_mtoba

Enjoy xo

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